One week before my thirtieth birthday, I married Eric. He was impressive: well-educated, well spoken, a musician and handsome. He had pursued me quietly, persistently. I loved him.
Two weeks after our three-day honeymoon, I was sitting on
the front steps of our thirty foot mobile home we had rented from my parents. With
downcast eyes, chin in hand, I asked myself, “Could I really love this man for
a lifetime?” Panic set in. What if he
was not who I thought he was, no more dates, no other man forever! Right then, my older sister walked past me on
the dirt road in front of the trailer. (She had married Eric’s brother Stanley
years before and lived on the land our parents developed and offered their
eight children. Five of us were still on that street.) She sensed my
discouragement, stopped and said, “Go in and make a home for Eric, or you will lose
everything you ever dreamed of.” A bit
frustrated since my new husband was making the lowest salary allowable by law, I
said, “With what?” Her answer was
profound, “With what you have.”
A dream began: if any wife has ever lived by the Bible, I will.
And so, the process to learn what that meant began.
Forty-eight years later, I smile at my idealism, yet somehow
that determination solidified into hope: I would live by the Bible. Eric and I had more to learn than we imagined,
but now we have experienced that God is right. He is good. Through the years and trials we learned to
work through disagreements and hurts. We are still motivated and have more unity
than ever. Our three grown sons are successful contributors to the world around
them. Eric retired after thirty-five years as a Logistics Manager for the Navy.
The story of how his career started is amazing.
What happened between the beginning of our marriage and
today, is the story of “Submission Is Not Silence”. It is instruction that I have written to
myself. More importantly it became my philosophy as I studied and learned what
I believe the Bible says directly to and about women.
The Bible provides a dependable philosophy that guides every
decision. It comes to life if you take it seriously, as it did for me. In
desperation at first, I tried to understand it in black and white. It was cold
on the page. But knowing God is always right, I let it deepen into my soul and
spirit as I thought it through. Slowly it began to work for me as I put it into
practice. It was becoming clearer in my head day by day. Where before I had
thought that being a good wife meant the man made all the decisions, I was
becoming an initiator toward Eric, more confident; it worked. When our marriage
was hurting this guidance drew us closer.
Why should it surprise me? God wrote it as the Handbook. “All
Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for
reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” II Timothy 3:16. Sometimes
it was clear guidance or mysterious instruction, I would live by the Bible. I
would rub my nose in the dust if I had to. But that was not what the Bible
taught at all. That way of thinking was like a slap in the face of God who created
me in His own image, and to have “dominion over all the earth” beside my
husband. There is a way: it is in the Bible.
